Rabbids Go Viral Read online

  CHAPTER 1:

  Whack-a-Rabbid!

  One sunny day a bunch of kids were enjoying a fun birthday party in a city park. The park was very nice, with lots of green trees and bushes.

  The kids were having a great time running around, laughing, and looking forward to eating so much ice cream their stomachs would ache.

  Little did they know they were being watched.

  Underneath one of the biggest, bushiest bushes were three Rabbids, those mysterious invaders from who knows where! They were lying on their pudgy stomachs, watching the happy kids, fascinated.

  “Bwoooooh,” one of them said, staring at the kids running and skipping.

  “Bwah!” said another Rabbid, pointing. The other two Rabbids quickly turned their heads in the direction he was pointing.

  An adult hung a colorful piñata shaped like a pig from a tree branch. “Okay, kids!” yelled another adult. “Piñata time!”

  The kids cheered and ran over to the tree. A woman carefully tied a bandana around the eyes of the birthday boy.

  The Rabbids’ eyes got big. What in the world was going on?!

  A man handed the boy a baseball bat. Then he gently spun the boy around in a circle. When he was done, he let the boy go and said, “Good luck!”

  Feeling a little dizzy, the boy wobbled a bit. Then he started poking around the air with the bat. Finally, he touched something. Tap! Tap! The piñata!

  He pulled the bat back and swung it around as fast as he could. WHACK! The piñata swung on its rope. The boy kept swinging his bat. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

  Underneath the bush the Rabbids looked at each other, puzzled. What had that pink creature done to deserve all this whacking?

  The pig piñata started to crack. The boy gave his bat a tremendous swing and . . . CRACK! The piñata broke open and candy spilled out!

  “Bwaaaah,” the Rabbids said, amazed by what they were seeing.

  The other kids squealed and laughed, diving for the candy and grabbing at it.

  The Rabbids crawled out from under their bush and ran toward the candy. But by the time they got there, the kids had scooped up all the candy and left to go eat so much ice cream their stomachs would ache.

  The three Rabbids hung their heads, disap­pointed that the candy was gone.

  But one of the Rabbids stared at one of his fellow Rabbids. In his mind, the other Rabbid turned into a colorful pig. A pig full of candy. This gave the first Rabbid a brilliant idea!

  He grabbed the left ear of the other Rabbid. “Bwah! Bwah! Bwah! Bwah!” he yelled to the third Rabbid, motioning for him to grab the other ear.

  “BWAAAAH!” shouted the Rabbid whose ears were being grabbed.

  The two Rabbids hoisted the third Rabbid up in the air and tied his ears to the branch of a tree. Then the first Rabbid put on a blindfold, then picked up a handy toilet plunger and waggled it. Sticking his tongue out in concentration, he got ready to whack candy out of his fellow Rabbid!

  When the tied-up Rabbid realized what was about to happen, he yelled, “BWAAAH! BWAAAH! BWAAAH!” The Rabbid on the ground swung his plunger. The tied-up Rabbid dodged the blow. Kicking his feet, he managed to swing himself up onto the branch. He untied his ears, jumped down, grabbed a stick, and ran straight at the Rabbid with the toilet plunger.

  “BWWWAAAAH!” he shouted as he ran.

  WHAM! WHACK! THUMP! Soon the Rabbids were wildly fighting each other with sticks, plungers, and whatever else they could get their hands on.

  Nearby, a teenager was lying under a tree, bored. “There’s nothing to do in this stupid park,” he said, looking at the paths and the tennis courts and the basketball courts and the pond with its paddleboats. Then he noticed the battling Rabbids.

  “Aha!” he said. “Now that is hilarious!” His phone was in his hand (it was always in his hand, even when he was sleeping), so he held it up and started making a video of the Rabbid fight.

  When the Rabbids took a short break, exhausted from running around and whacking each other, the teenager posted his video to the Internet. In no time at all, it was seen by millions of people all over the world.

  Including Director Stern, the head of the Secret Government Agency for the Investigation of Intruders—Rabbid Division, also known as the SGAII-RD. Seeing the fighting Rabbids on the screen of his computer, Director Stern turned purple with anger.

  “GLYKER!” he bellowed. “GET IN MY OFFICE! NOW!!!”

  CHAPTER 2:

  Glyker Goes Rabbid

  In his crummy office at the SGAII-RD, Agent Glyker was leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling, dreaming of catching a Rabbid. When he heard his Uncle Jim (who was the head of the agency, and insisted on being called “Director Stern”), he fell backward onto the floor with a CRASH!

  Agent Glyker scrambled to his feet, set his chair back up, and sprinted down the hallway to his uncle’s office. It was much bigger and nicer than Glyker’s office. He peeked through the door.

  “Yes, Uncle Ji— I mean, Director Stern?” he asked. “You wanted to see me?”

  Director Stern scowled. “I don’t want to see you, but I have to see you,” he growled. “Look at this!” He spun his computer around so Glyker could see the screen.

  A video showed three Rabbids whacking each other with sticks and toilet plungers. “Notice anything?” Director Stern hissed.

  “Um, Rabbids really like toilet plungers?” Glyker guessed.

  “THE VIEWS!” Stern shouted, pointing at the number displayed below the video. “OVER THREE MILLION VIEWS!”

  Agent Glyker nodded. “Right,” he said, not sure what Stern was getting at. “That’s, um, a lot of views. I posted a video of this really cool bear at the zoo and it got, like, seven views. And I think six of them were me.”

  Stern slammed his hand down on the top of his desk. WHAM! “Too many views!” he said. “These Rabbid invaders have successfully infiltrated the Internet! It’s part of their plan to take over planet Earth! THEY MUST BE STOPPED!”

  Agent Glyker stood up straight and threw back his shoulders. “Yes, sir!” he barked. He was tempted to salute, but he knew from experience that his uncle didn’t like that.

  Director Stern paced around the room. “Somehow these invaders have become popular, and that’s very bad. People don’t realize how dangerous they are. One day the Rabbids are hitting each other to lull us into a false sense of security. The next day they’re hitting us! And the next thing you know, they’re RUNNING EVERYTHING!”

  Glyker was nodding his head so vigorously he was starting to get a sore neck. Director Stern stopped pacing and shoved his face close to the agent’s.

  “And what are you doing to stop the Rabbids?” he snarled. “Sitting in your office and staring at the ceiling?”

  Agent Glyker wondered if his uncle had installed a secret camera that let him see everything Glyker did in his office.

  “As a matter of fact,” Glyker said proudly, “I’ve been working on a new strategy to infiltrate the Rabbids’ ranks. Would you like to see?”

  Before Stern could answer, Glyker ran out of the office. When he returned a few moments later, he was wearing something quite surprising.

  A Rabbid suit.

  “I sewed it myself! Well, sewed and glued. Mostly glued, actually. Sewing is hard,” Glyker explained with great enthusiasm. “It wasn’t easy finding just the right material, but I think I nailed it!”

  Director Stern stared at his nephew. He shook his head. “I’m not sure mysterious beings capable of taking over a planet are going to be fooled by a Halloween costume.”

  “Just count on me, sir!” Glyker promised, saluting in spite of himself. “I’ve been practicing my Rabbid moves!”

  He started moving around the office, doing
a decent impression of a walking Rabbid. He even paused and wiggled his butt.

  Director Stern sighed heavily. “Just go,” he said.

  CHAPTER 3:

  What Is That Thing?

  The three Rabbids were still in the big public park in the center of the city. They may not have gotten any piñata candy, but they were thoroughly enjoying themselves.

  They’d found the park’s large, beautiful fountain.

  “Bwooooh,” all three said when they first spotted the fountain spraying water high in the air. They ran down a grassy hill to reach the fountain as fast as their stubby legs could carry them.

  After marching around the rim of the fountain, they started kicking and splashing water at each other. “BWAH HA HA HA!”

  Now one of them was making his way toward the center of the fountain, planning to climb up to where the water spurted out. But before he could figure out the best way to reach the top, he heard one of his fellow Rabbids ask, “Bwah bwah BWAH?!”

  Almost as if he were asking, “What is THAT?!”

  The Rabbid climbing the fountain looked around to see what the other Rabbid was talking about. He saw the other two Rabbids pointing, so he looked in the direction they were indicating.

  What he saw looked very strange.

  From a small group of trees, a figure was walking across the grass toward them. It looked kind of like a Rabbid, but taller. Its eyes and mouth looked funny.

  The strange figure raised its hand and said, “Bwah bwah!” Its voice sounded weird to the Rabbids.

  “Bwuh?” the climbing Rabbid said, puzzled. He got down and joined the other two Rabbids. All three stared at the strange creature coming toward them.

  They knew this was no Rabbid. But what was it?

  When the creature had almost reached the fountain, the three Rabbids suddenly ran toward it. They circled around the weird figure, trying to figure out what it was.

  The creature tried to get them to stop. It held up one hand and said, “Bwah!”

  The Rabbids finally figured out what the thing was.

  It was funny!

  “BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!” they laughed, pointing at the fake Rabbid. They laughed and laughed, rolling on the grass and laughing until they were exhausted.

  This seemed to make the fake Rabbid mad. “Bwah bwah bwah bwah!” it said, trying to get them to stop laughing. It was shaking its fist at them.

  One of the Rabbids noticed the toilet plunger he’d left in the grass while they were playing in the fountain. Suddenly he didn’t feel tired any more. He picked up the plunger.

  He ran over to the fake Rabbid and gave it a whack in the butt with the rubber end of the plunger. WHAP! Then he laughed again. “BWAH HA HA!”

  The other two Rabbids thought this was a brilliant idea. They picked up their toilet plungers and ran at the fake Rabbid. It started running around the fountain, chased by the three real Rabbids waving their toilet plungers.

  The three Rabbids soon caught up with the fake Rabbid. They surrounded it as it stood with his back to the fountain. They swung their plungers. It leaned back, dodging the plungers, and . . .

  SPLOOSH!

  The fake Rabbid fell right into the fountain! When it stood up, it was dripping wet. And its pretend fur was falling off!

  “Bwah?” asked the Rabbids, puzzled. Why was the weird creature falling apart?

  The fake Rabbid tried to pull itself back together, but the more it tried, the more it came apart. Finally it climbed out of the fountain and ran back into the trees, slipping in the grass a couple of times.

  The three Rabbids watched it go. Then they broke into loud laughter again. “BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!”

  CHAPTER 4:

  Back to the Drawing Board

  Agent Glyker squished into his small apartment and closed the door behind him. His plan had utterly failed. He was sore from being whacked with toilet plungers. He was sopping wet. And his Rabbid disguise had fallen apart the minute it touched the water. (Probably because he’d glued it together instead of sewing it. But sewing was hard.)

  Still, was Agent Glyker discouraged? Dismayed? Ready to give up?

  No! He was not!

  “I just have to come up with a better plan,” he said to himself. When he was alone in his dingy little apartment, he often talked to himself. It helped him think.

  He paced around his tiny living room, thinking.

  The Rabbid disguise had seemed like the perfect way to get close enough to the Rabbids to grab one of them. But getting that close had turned out to be dangerous. He had the bruises to prove it.

  “How can I get close enough to the Rabbids to gather lots of good intel about them without putting myself in danger?” Danger wasn’t the part of being a spy that Agent Glyker liked. He liked the secret stuff. The hidden stuff. The high-tech gadgets . . .

  High-tech! That was the answer!

  “A remote-controlled robot Rabbid!” he shouted. What a great idea! Glyker could build a robot that looked like a Rabbid. Then he could control it from a safe distance, so he wouldn’t be in any danger of getting hurt. Perfect!

  After putting on dry clothes, Agent Glyker hurried out to buy everything he’d need to build a robot Rabbid. He’d finish it right away, even if he had to stay up all night working on it.

  And that’s exactly what happened.

  He was so excited to get started that he began building it right there in his car.

  As the sun was coming up the next morning, Agent Glyker put the finishing touches on his robot Rabbid. He picked up the remote control and pushed the button to make the robot walk forward. Whirrr . . .

  It worked!

  But would the Rabbids think it was real?

  CHAPTER 5:

  Robot Rabbid

  The three Rabbids ran through the city, looking for something interesting.

  They found something very interesting.

  A cement truck finished pouring fresh cement for a new sidewalk. Workers smoothed over the wet cement. Then they put stakes in the ground beside the sidewalk, tied strings to the stakes to keep people out, and left to go pour another sidewalk in another part of the city.

  The Rabbids watched the slowly spinning cement truck drive away. They ran over to the fresh new sidewalk with its wet gray cement.

  One of the Rabbids considered himself the leader of this little group. (It wasn’t at all clear that the other two Rabbids agreed with him.) He pushed the other Rabbids back and pointed to his chest. “Bwah bwah bwah bwah!” he said, seeming to mean that he would go first.

  He carefully stuck his foot into the wet cement, then pulled it out. Shhhwomp! An impression of his foot stayed in the cement! He was delighted!

  When the other two Rabbids saw what he’d done, they eagerly stepped over the strings and put their feet in the cement. Shhhwomp! Shhhwomp! They pointed at the indentations in the cement and laughed. “BWAH HA HA!”

  Then they did their hands. And their faces. And their butts. Soon they were lying in the wet cement making cement angels!

  But the cement was drying quickly. When they tried to get up from their cement angels, they found it wasn’t that easy. The cement was starting to stick. With a mighty effort, one Rabbid managed to heave himself up out of the cement. Shhhhhhwoompf!

  He helped pull the next Rabbid out, and then together the two of them yanked out the third Rabbid, who was really starting to stick in the cement!

  Their backs were covered with cement. Luckily, they jumped in a nearby fountain (which they would have jumped in anyway) and the cement came off. Then they went back to the ruined sidewalk to admire what they’d done. Footprints! Handprints! Face prints! Butt prints! It was beautiful! They kept saying “Bwooh!” and “Bwaah!” over and over, thrilled with their artwork.

  Then they heard a strange sound behind them. Whirrr . . .

  The three Rabbids whipped around and saw . . . a Rabbid! Coming straight toward them! Its walk was a little peculiar—it swayed from side to side a bi
t—but it definitely looked like a Rabbid.

  The Rabbid who considered himself the leader stepped forward and held up one hand. “Bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah!” he said, greeting the newcomer.

  Slowly, the unknown Rabbid lifted its hand.

  The leader Rabbid squinted at the stranger, thinking. Could he trust this Rabbid?

  Suddenly, behind them there was a low growl. Rrrrrr! The Rabbids turned around and saw a big, fierce dog!

  The new Rabbid didn’t hesitate. It lifted both its arms and headed straight toward the menacing dog.

  The dog didn’t know what to make of this fearless creature. It tucked its tail, whimpered, turned around, and ran.

  “BWAH HA HA HA HA!” laughed the Rabbids. They clapped the new Rabbid on the back, congratulating it on a job well done.

  And when they started to walk away, the three Rabbids turned back and beckoned with their arms, inviting the new Rabbid to come with them.

  From his hiding place behind a nearby bench, Agent Glyker grinned. Success at last!

  Then he yawned. He hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. It wouldn’t hurt to go home and catch up on his sleep. The robot would be gathering fantastic intel with its built-in video camera. Later, he could electronically track the robot and find out exactly where the Rabbids were. Simple!

  Glyker set the robot on automatic pilot and headed back to his apartment, yawning again. That was another great thing about robots. They never needed to sleep.

  CHAPTER 6:

  Nighttime Rabbids

  The sun had set and the city was dark. But the Rabbids were still running through the streets, showing their new friend the sights.

  As they ran down a dark alley, they saw light spilling out through an open door. The leader peered in and was amazed by what he saw.