Case File #3 The Accidental Accomplice Read online

  CHAPTER 1:

  SMOOSHY LANDING

  Early one morning, a huge tanker truck full of butterscotch pudding sped down an empty road just outside a city. The driver, Gus, was in a hurry.

  “Can’t be late,” Gus muttered to himself. “Gotta deliver this pudding while it’s still fresh!”

  Suddenly . . . FWOOM! A blinding white light filled the sky in front of the tanker truck!

  “YAAAH!!!” Gus screamed. He couldn’t see, which is what usually happens when a light is blinding.

  If Gus had been driving down a perfectly straight road, he might have continued along safely until he’d regained his sight.

  But it wasn’t a perfectly straight road.

  In fact, the truck was zooming down a perfectly curved road. And because he was blinded, Gus didn’t see that curve. He drove right off the road and slammed into . . . a huge oak tree! CRASH!!! The tank fell over. A valve on the back of the tank broke open. And thousands of gallons of butterscotch pudding spilled onto the ground.

  The driver wasn’t hurt, but he was knocked out, so he didn’t see where the blinding light had come from: a spaceship!

  The spaceship looked very unusual. (Not that there are very many usual-looking spaceships.) It was yellow and blue and resembled a submarine, except that it had a face on the front. In the face’s black mouth were two big white teeth.

  The kind of teeth you see in . . . RABBIDS!

  Which made sense, because the spaceship belonged to the Rabbids, those mysterious invaders from . . . who knows where!

  SPLOOSH! The spaceship landed right in the middle of the butterscotch pudding. A door opened and three Rabbids ran out. Right into the pudding.

  “Bwah?” said the Rabbid in front, looking down at the light-brown pudding covering his feet. The spaceship flew out of sight, but the Rabbids didn’t even wave good-bye because they were so interested in the pudding.

  “Bwah!” said one of the Rabbids, delighted. He scooped up a handful of pudding and plopped it onto his head. Then he shaped the pudding into several lovely hairstyles.

  Another Rabbid saw what the first Rabbid had done. He scooped up some pudding and sculpted it into a thick mustache and a long beard.

  The third Rabbid scooped up some pudding too. But what could he shape it into? A vest? A jacket? Then he had a brilliant idea!

  PLAP!!! A handful of butterscotch pudding hit the first Rabbid right in the back of the head. He wheeled around and saw the third Rabbid laughing. “BWAH HA HA HA HA!”

  Soon butterscotch pudding was flying everywhere! It wasn’t long before the three Rabbids were completely covered in pudding.

  Then the first Rabbid (who acted like he was the leader of the trio) spotted the nearby city. He shook off the pudding and started running toward the city.

  The other two Rabbids saw him go. They shook off their pudding and quickly followed.

  It was at this moment that the driver woke up. Feeling dazed, Gus climbed out of his toppled truck and watched the Rabbids run away.

  “Are those . . . Rabbids?” he said to himself. “Or am I seeing things?”

  Unfortunately, he wasn’t seeing things.

  CHAPTER 2:

  SECRET AGENT SECOND CLASS

  At the Secret Government Agency for the Investigation of Intruders-Rabbid Division (also known as the SGAII-RD), Agent Glyker stood in the hall outside his crummy little office.

  His office was small and dingy, and the hallway was unappealing, with ugly brown paint on the walls and dust on the floor. But Agent Glyker didn’t mind. He was happily watching the janitor paint a new title on his door:

  GLYKER, SECRET AGENT SECOND CLASS

  “Yup,” Glyker said proudly. “That’s me! I used to be Secret Agent Third Class, but I got promoted!”

  “Congratulations,” the janitor said flatly, not looking up from his work.

  “Thank you!” Glyker said enthusiastically. “You’re probably wondering what I did to get promoted so quickly.”

  “Nope,” said the janitor, dipping his thin paintbrush into a can of black paint. “Don’t really care.”

  Glyker either didn’t hear the janitor’s answer or decided to ignore it. “It was nothing, really,” he said, pretending to be modest. “Director Stern and I were chasing some Rabbids, and I basically saved his life.”

  The janitor continued painting letters on the door. He didn’t say anything.

  Agent Glyker stood there awkwardly for a moment and then said, “I should probably go check in with Director Stern right now. See what my next big assignment is.”

  The janitor finally looked up at Glyker. “Did you catch one of those troublemaking Rabbids?”

  Glyker frowned. “Um, no.”

  “Then that’s probably your next assignment,” the janitor said, chuckling.

  Agent Glyker strode confidently down the hallway, and knocked on Director Stern’s door. “Uncle Jim?” he asked, opening the door.

  “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Director Stern roared. “When you and I are here at work, we are not uncle and nephew. We are Director and . . .” He paused, trying to remember Glyker’s title.

  “Secret Agent Second Class!” Glyker said helpfully. “Speaking of which, I was wondering what privileges come with my promotion.”

  “Privileges?” Stern asked, wrinkling his nose as if he were smelling some rotten fruit.

  “Right, like, for example,” Glyker asked eagerly, “will I be issued my own secret car with lots of super high-tech features?”

  “No,” Stern answered, shaking his head.

  “My own secret parking place?”

  “No.”

  “My own key to the secret nicer bathroom?”

  “No way,” Stern said firmly. “Out of the question. There is no secret nicer bathroom. And if there were one, it would be for me and me alone. Now go catch me a Rabbid!”

  Discouraged by these answers, Agent Glyker turned and started to go back to his office to see how the new title on his door was coming along. Then he thought of something. “Could I at least have full access to the Closet of Super-Secret Spy Gadgets without having to ask for special permission? Otherwise, it’s like my promotion means nothing!”

  Director Stern hesitated. The truth was, Agent Glyker’s promotion did mean nothing. It was a made-up title. And Stern didn’t really want to give his nephew full access to the Closet of Super-Secret Spy Gadgets. On the other hand, if he didn’t, his sister might be mad at him for mistreating her son. And his sister could be really mean.

  “Fine,” he said. “You can have full access. Now if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to have full access to my office . . . WITHOUT YOU IN IT!”

  “Thanks, Uncle Jim!” Glyker said, forgetting he wasn’t supposed to call his uncle that at work. Before Stern could bellow “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Glyker was hurrying down the hallway to the Closet of Super-Secret Spy Gadgets.

  There was one item in particular he’d had his eye on for a long time. . . .

  CHAPTER 3:

  A MYSTERIOUS PLACE

  At the same time that Agent Glyker was talking to Director Stern, the three Rabbids were standing in a line of people outside a big place. They had no idea what they were waiting in line for. They just saw people lining up, and they joined them.

  In front of them, they saw people handing little pieces of cardboard to a man. The man scanned the pieces of cardboard, handed them back to the people, and let them pass through the turnstile.

  When the Rabbids reached the front of the line, the man held out his hand for their tickets.

  But they didn’t have tickets.

  “Bwah bwah-bwah bwah bwah bwah,” the leader said, a
s though that explained everything. He started to walk under the turnstile, but the man stopped him.

  “Whoa, whoa! Hold it right there!” he said. “You gotta have a ticket to get into the stadium.”

  The Rabbids looked puzzled. They had no idea what the man was saying.

  The third Rabbid got an idea. He found a candy wrapper on the ground, picked it up, and handed it to the man.

  “That’s not a ticket!” the man snarled angrily. “Now, go on! Get out of here!”

  The Rabbids just stood there staring at him.

  Then the man pulled his foot back and kicked the nearest Rabbid in the butt. “BWAH!” the Rabbid yelled. The Rabbids got out of line and walked away. But they didn’t go far.

  When they were out of the man’s sight, they hurried over to the wall of the big building. There must be some way to get in! (Without getting kicked in the butt.) This place looked really interesting. And it smelled interesting too.

  They hadn’t gone very far around the wall when they saw a man unloading boxes of hot dogs from a truck. He put the boxes on a golf cart until it couldn’t hold any more. Then the driver of the golf cart drove off . . . right into the stadium!

  The three Rabbids looked at each other. “Bwwwaaah . . . ,” they said, grinning. They knew just what to do.

  The truck driver finished filling the back of another golf cart with boxes of hot dogs. As the golf cart sped off, the driver turned back to his truck to get more boxes. If he had watched the golf cart go, he would have seen something surprising: three Rabbids sitting on the golf cart’s back bumper, waving!

  Once the golf cart was inside the stadium, the Rabbids jumped off. They stood and looked around.

  A bunch of big guys walked by wearing baseball hats and carrying snacks. One of them pumped his fist in the air and they all whooped. “WHOOO!”

  The three Rabbids walked behind them, trying to swagger like the big guys. They pumped their fists in the air and yelled, “Bwhoo bwhoo!” The guys turned around, but didn’t see anyone because the Rabbids were so much shorter than they were. They shrugged and went off to find their seats.

  One of the Rabbids spotted a vendor selling peanuts. “Peanuts! Get your peanuts!” he called. The Rabbid picked a couple of empty boxes out of a trash can and held them up. “Bwah bwah!” he called. “Bwah bwah bwah bwah!”

  The three Rabbids had been walking up long ramps and down concrete hallways. Suddenly, they saw a staircase leading down to a beautiful, green field.

  “Bwooooooh,” the Rabbids crooned, impressed. The leader started running down the stairs toward the field.

  And the other two Rabbids ran right behind him. . . .

  CHAPTER 4:

  YOU’RE OUT!

  The manager of the baseball stadium was yelling so loud, Agent Glyker had to hold his phone away from his ear. “RABBIDS ARE RUINING THE GAME! THEY’RE OUT OF CONTROL! THIS IS A DISASTER!!!”

  Glyker drove to the stadium as fast as he could. Waving his identification badge, he sprinted inside.

  What he found wasn’t pretty.

  All the fans were standing up, cupping their hands around their mouths, and booing. “BOOOO! BOOOO!”

  The players were standing in the dugouts, wondering what to do.

  And three Rabbids were running around the field, messing with everything they could get their hands on. They rolled their feet on bats like they were logs. They dove on the bases and slid in the dirt. They buried the balls in the pitcher’s mound as if they were giant round seeds.

  The whole time, they kept laughing. “BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!”

  Security guards and umpires chased the Rabbids, but they were too hard to catch. They rolled balls and bats at their pursuers to trip them. Sometimes they disappeared into hiding places, only to pop up the second the umpires tried to start the game again.

  “BOOOO!!!” roared the crowd. They started throwing trash onto the field, trying to hit the Rabbids. The little invaders thought this was wonderful. They collected the trash and wore some of it as clothing, popped some into their mouths, and threw the rest back into the stands.

  “I’ve got to act fast,” Glyker thought, “before this turns into a full-scale riot! Luckily, I brought along a little surprise for the Rabbids.”

  He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the super-secret gadget he’d had his eye on for quite a while. He cradled the small gizmo in his hand and put his finger on the trigger.

  It was the Stopomizer.

  All he had to do was aim the Stopomizer at one of the Rabbids, pull the trigger, and . . . BRZZZT! The Rabbid would be stopped in his troublemaking tracks. Then Agent Glyker would simply stroll over and pick up the Rabbid. It’d be like carrying a statue. (Not too heavy a statue, he hoped. His back was still a little sore from his last run-in with a Rabbid.) After a short while, the Rabbid would become unstopped and feel just fine.

  He snuck down the stairs toward the field, hoping to get as close as possible to the green grass without the Rabbids noticing him. He wasn’t sure if these were the same Rabbids he’d met before, but he didn’t want to take a chance of being recognized. Glyker assumed the Rabbids thought of him as their greatest enemy. Perhaps they told each other tales of their encounters with their great and resourceful nemesis.

  He managed to find an out-of-the-way corner behind a low wall. Peeking over it, he spotted a Rabbid not too far away.

  The Rabbid had found a catcher’s mask and was trying to figure out what to do with it. At the moment, the Rabbid was scooping up dirt near home plate and sifting it with the mask.

  Glyker was pretty sure the Rabbid was within range of the Stopomizer. He raised the gadget and carefully aimed it at the Rabbid. Then he took a deep breath, held it, and . . .

  “STOP! DON’T SHOOT!”

  CHAPTER 5:

  COURTNEY

  A teenager with short red hair stood right in front of Agent Glyker with her hands stretched out. “DON’T SHOOT!” she repeated.

  “Shhh!” Glyker hissed. He didn’t want the crowd in the stands to hear someone shouting about shooting. They might panic and stampede. He also didn’t want the Rabbids to escape. “Where did you come from?” he asked. “Who are you?”

  The girl glared at the agent suspiciously. “I might ask you the same thing!” she said.

  Glyker held up his identification badge. “I’m Agent Glyker with the SGAII-RD.”

  The girl looked puzzled. “I have no idea what that is,” she said.

  “It’s the Secret Government Agency for the Investigation of Intruders-Rabbid Division,” he explained.

  She rolled her eyes. “Rabbids don’t need to be investigated!” she said forcefully. “They need to be protected. I adore Rabbids! They are so cute! The second I read on Twitter that there were Rabbids at the baseball game today, I hurried down here as fast as I could. I just love them! I love their eyes, and their ears, and their fur, and—”

  Agent Glyker sighed. “Look, uh . . . what did you say your name was?”

  “I didn’t say,” the girl said. “If you were a good secret agent, you’d remember that.”

  “Fine,” Glyker said, clenching his teeth. (He didn’t like being told he wasn’t good at his job.) “What is your name, then?”

  “Courtney,” she said. “What’s yours?”

  “Glyker.”

  “Thank you very much!” she exclaimed triumphantly. “Glyker! Now I can tell the security guys who was going to shoot the cuddly, adorable little Rabbids! They will probably have you arrested.”

  Speaking of the Rabbids, what were they doing? Agent Glyker quickly glanced past Courtney to check the baseball field. The Rabbids were still out there, running around and picking up equipment, much to the annoyance of the fans.

  “There’s no need to call for security,” Glyker said quickly. “I am security. And I wasn’t going to hurt the Rabbids.” He held up the Stopomizer. “This isn’t a gun. It’s a Stopomizer. It temporarily stops its targets from moving. Not forever
. Just for a little while. And it doesn’t hurt them.”

  Courtney nodded as though she was considering what he was saying. Glyker started to relax. Then she screamed, “SECURITY!!!”

  Almost instantly, two big guys in navy jackets and baseball caps appeared. “What’s goin’ on here?” the bigger one growled in a deep, gruff voice.

  Glyker held up his badge. “I’m Agent Glyker, Secret Agent Second Class. I’m here to capture a Rabbid.”

  The other security guard laughed hollowly. “Ha! A Rabbid? Why don’t you hurry up and capture ALL of them? They’re ruining the game!”

  That was all the permission Glyker needed. With a triumphant smirk at Courtney, he aimed his Stopomizer at the nearest Rabbid . . . but Courtney ran out onto the baseball field screaming, “RUN! RUN, RABBIDS! RUN FOR YOUR CUTE LITTLE LIVES!”

  All three Rabbids stopped what they were doing and looked at Courtney. They pointed at the screaming redhead and laughed. “BWAH HA HA HA!”

  “THIS WAY!” shouted Courtney. Waving her hand frantically, she ran into the players’ tunnel that led off the field. Imitating her waves and screams, the Rabbids followed her, thinking Courtney was the funniest thing they’d ever seen.

  Glyker tried to run out onto the baseball field to chase the Rabbids, but the two big security guards stopped him.

  “Hold it right there, pal,” the bigger one said. “Now that those pesky Rabbids are off the field, no one goes out there but the players.”

  Sure enough, the players were trotting back onto the baseball field. Within moments, the game had resumed. Much to Glyker’s annoyance, the big video screen showed a picture of Courtney. Underneath were the words, “OUR HERO.”